Settling

Your mattress was uncomfortable

But maybe it went further than that

Maybe I should have looked further than that

Maybe I should have recognized that even though I felt alive, I also didn’t recognize the person I was

As I laid there, on your hard mattress, juxtaposed with your feather pillows

Maybe I should have known

As you talked about your excitement for the sheets you just bought

Maybe I should have known that fleece didn’t excite me the same

That even though I wanted to hear about what you love

I always felt empty that you would never talk about me

As you talked about how you got your mattress for free

— Mind you, this mattress that you hated

Maybe I should have noticed

Maybe I should have noticed that you’ll settle if it’s free

Because maybe I should have noticed, that’s what you were doing with me